Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize