margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
