whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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