I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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