after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
