This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My Sexting was not on an AP level
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
