**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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