i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
