i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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