I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
