I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
