There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
