FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So much Jack, so little girl.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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