four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
