Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
