There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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