if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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