he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
