google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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