I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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