Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Randomize
