What did we do last night that was yellow?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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