You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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