they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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