Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
