I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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