my phone needs a breathalizer
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
