I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
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