you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
