turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
