...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
