My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
