I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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