he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
