i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize