on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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