I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize