Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
