I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
