is this the sara with the beer cane?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
