When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
