whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
