She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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