Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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