Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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