so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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