If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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