There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
