Jerry, you need to find god
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm having to shit out rocks
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