she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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