Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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