then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
