When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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