I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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