Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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