are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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