Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
